sweetest sin
by Kisecchis
Summary: SPOILERS! OS, set after 7x02 'Hello, cruel world'. After Castiel's death Sam and Bobby figure out how to bring him back. They get help from someone unexpected. Castiel/Meg ... english is not my native language, please excuse grammar or spelling mistakes


WARNING:** SPOILERS!** DO NOT READ THIS FANFICTION IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SEASON 6x22 and SEASON 7 YET

disclaimer: I don't own anything from the supernatural universe.

_This is my first Supernatural fanfiction. I hope you like it. It's a oneshot about Castiel and Meg, set somewhere after **7x02** 'Hello, cruel world'_**  
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**sweetest sin**

This was the end. Finally Castiel was a fallen angel. Completely and with every remaining piece. And the trench coat was the only piece that remained. Dean took it and folded it ignoring the pain in his chest this caused him.

"He's gone."

"Rest in peace, if that's appropriate to say", murmured Bobby.

"Dumb son of a bitch."

"Well, he was friends with us, wasn't he? Can't get any dumber than that."

They remained silent for a moment and then went back to the Impala. Was it their fault? Was it his – Deans fault? When Castiel came down from heaven with his mission he was a brave little soldier. Did everything they told him and followed his commands without questioning anything. That was before they 'met'. Since then he never was the old Castiel again. He became a darker version of himself – a fallen angel.

Probably it was god they had to blame again. He could've done something, his duty as a father, but he didn't. He could've stopped the civil war his sons fought, and Cas never would've had to find purgatory and swallow the souls.

And god 'made' the Leviathans. Again his fault.

And as it seemed, he had no intention to stop them. 'As usual.' Dean thought bitter. God didn't even stop Castiel on his trip, so why should he stop some monsters.

Of course he, Sammy and Bobby would do that. But to be honest, how could he believe that they could actually fight those fucked up creatures?

They were older than Demons, even older than Lucifer, there was not the slightest sign of weakness, and Sam wasn't Sam. Not anymore. He had scratched the wall, and now it was breaking down. Lucifer was Sammy's little devil on his shoulder, and it drove him insane, Dean could see it easily. He knew his brother, long enough to figure out Sammy wouldn't stand that. It would kill him. He would probably kill himself. But he was too stubborn to admit that anyway.

The truth was he didn't know what to do without Castiel. Of course, they managed to kill a lot of those bitches on their own, but in the end Cas was his back-up player. Always there, waiting to save them. He trusted in him, too much, which he realized now that it was too late. And it killed him inside.

But there was no way back. The only thing that was left to do was to carry on and fight, kill as much of those Leviathans as possible and die as a hero. An uncrowned hero.

They were at Bobby's again, Sam sitting on a couch staring at the ceiling, Bobby somewhere outside. Dean reached for a bottle of Whiskey and drank it directly. It didn't ease the pain though. He couldn't deal with the situation, as much as he tried to pretend he could. Inside he was dying. It felt like losing Sammy. Cas has been like a brother, his best friend, and it hurt deep down, to know that he could've saved him. Somehow.

He's seen his downfall, his self- destroying trip, but he's been too stubborn or proud to stop the angel from going down.

Swallowing the souls. Making a Deal with a demon.

"Dean? Are you okay?", asked Sam, interrupting Deans thoughts.

"Of course I am. Stupid dumbass ruined himself, not going to cry like a girl now."

"Look, Dean, I know you and Cas were closer than I've ever been with him, but he was a friend to me too. And it hurts to lose him. I know you're hurt too."

"He was an angel Sammy. We didn't mean a lot to him. Listen to yourself. You sound like a little fairy."

Sam left silently, knowing that Dean wouldn't talk about it anyway.

* * *

><p>A few days later nothing had changed. They were still at Bobby's, waiting for signs of the Leviathans. Except Dean, who 's opinion was that it didn't matter anyway. If the Leviathans came back, they'd find the Winchesters. So why searching for them?<p>

Instead he drank again. He was in a drunken state even when he was asleep nowadays.

"Dean can we talk for a moment?"

Sam came, sitting down in the Impala next to Dean, who was sitting on the driver's seat, a bottle of Whiskey I one hand, the beige Trench coat in the other.

"What is it? If you want to talk about feelings again ask Bobby or Lucy. I'm sure one of them is interested."

"This isn't funny."

Dean closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Of course it wasn't. Neither the subject of Cas, nor the subject of Lucifer. But he did what he always did when he was ignoring his feelings – making fun of it.

"Hey Sammy, where do you think do angels go when their dead?"

"Purgatory probably? Why?"

"Oh nothing I just thought, maybe their joining god in New Mexico."

Sam shook his head, typically for him, and said nothing.

"Why did you want to talk now?"

"Bobby and I… we've been doing some research."

"I thought I'm the one who's watching porn when I'm desperate?"  
>Sam rolled his eyes. That was typically for Dean.<p>

"No, we were doing some real research. Books and that stuff, ya know."

"Anything new about the Leviathans? How can we kill those freaks?"

"As far as we know, we can't. But that's not what we were looking for lately. Actually we've found a ritual. It could bring back Cas."

Dean took a long sip of his bottle, then looked at Sam again, kinda angry.

"This isn't funny. I know he's dead. Gone. And I know there's no way to bring him back, so why trying something that won't work?"

"How can you know it won't?"

"It's like trying to take over the world. But fine. Try it. If you and Bobby want to pull a Pinky and the Brain number, do it without me."

Sam snorted, than stood up and slammed the Impala's door close.

"Tell me if you're interested in bringing your best friend back. You know where you can find us.", he said sarcastically, then left.

Dean remained in the car, drinking, trying not to think about Sam and Bobby's plan. It was just a bunch of hopes that would be crashed anyway, wasn't it?

* * *

><p>The thing was, he was wrong. Time heals all wounds, yes, but Dean was an impatient person, and the wound Cas' death made, needed definitely too much time to heal. So it was worth a shot to hear what Pinky and Brain had planned.<p>

He entered the living room, where Bobby sat on his table, studying a book. He looked up at Dean and smiled sarcastically.  
>"Oh look who's awake from his coma. You look like shit son."<p>

"Charming." , Dean said, grabbing Bobby's glass from the table.

"Stop drinking or you'll end like Rufus." Bobby commented dryly, which didn't bother Dean much. Rufus was dead, and he would die too sooner or later. So why not forget his problems?

"Sam said you figured out a way to bring back … you know who?"

"Yes we did. Not sure it'll work though. It's just a theory, made out of some different rituals from different religions."

Dean walked round the table and looked over Bobby's shoulder down at the books.  
>"In the greek mythology they found a way to bind the gods to human bodies-"<p>

"- like vessels?"

"Kinda. They forced the gods into the bodies. No matter where they were. So Sam thought, no matter where Cas is, this spell should bind him to his body, shouldn't it?"

"But he's dead. If you put him into a vessel, it's just a dead angel in a vessel that'll die too."

"Not exactly. Think a bit different. When Cas brought you back from hell, he forced you into life again. So why shouldn't it work the same way when we bring him back?"

"Nice theory. Won't work, but I appreciate the optimism." Dean said and rolled his eyes.

"And why shouldn't it work?"

"First, since when can we just mix rituals from different religions? And then again, we don't have a vessel. We'd need to search for a Cas-compatible one and we'd have to get his permission. And what do you want to tell him? 'We want to put a dead angel inside of you because he ruined his last vessel by swallowing monsters?'".

"Actually, we don't need a new vessel. If I'm not wrong, Jimmy became a sinner."

"He's definitely not pure on the inside. Though he doesn't even have an inside anymore, considering that his body exploded…"

"So he's gone to hell?"

"I guess?"

"Then I'm sure you know this ritual", Bobby said, pointing into the Salon.

Dean saw the candles and the devils trap and realized immediately what Bobby planned.

"You want to summon a demon? Oh right, why don't you write the Leviathans a personal invitation, so they can come here right away?"

"Don't talk to me that way idjit. You can work with us, or you don't. I don't care but it's your choice if you can live with the guilt of not even trying to save Cas…"

"Fine I'm in, wouldn't be the first time we do something that risks our lives…" Dean said, knowing that he secretly promised himself back at the lake, that he'd do anything to get Cas back.

"Great let's start right away then." Sam said as he entered the living room.

They entered the salon, lighting up the candles and taking their positions round the devils trap.

"Which demon are we summoning anyway?"

"I didn't specify on one, I think we just need someone in a higher position…" Sam said as he started to read the Latin words.

First nothing happened, but then the dust on the floor swirled around and a woman appeared. Her hair was black and fell down her back, her eyes dark brown and her lips red.

"Meg?" Dean spat out surprised and disgusted.

Meg looked around confused, soon realizing that she was trapped.

"The Winchesters. Nice to see you guys."

"Can't say the same bitch."

"Cool down Dean. You're the one who called me. How's life going Sammy? I can see daddy behind you, you know?"

Sam threw a death-threatening gaze at her, but Dean looked shocked at Sam.  
>"Luzifer's here again?"<p>

Meg grinned, realizing that Dean didn't know that.

"He's talking to little Sammy right now… didn't know that?"

"Shut up bitch."

"Make me." She smirked.

Dean and Sam looked at each other, and finally Dean gave up, knowing he could come up with that subject again later.

"Why did you call me anyway? Not that I don't like your company sweethearts, but I'm a bit busy."

"We need to ask you something."

"Don't be shy dears." she said, smiling falsely.

"Is Jimmy Novak down there in hell?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. Haven't been down there for a while now…Why? Did Clarence manage to destroy his vessel on his insane trip?"

"Actually, he's dead." Sam answered dryly.

Meg's expression changed for a second. Was this – sadness?

"And why do you want his vessel?"

"That's none of your business."

She looked at all of them curiously, and then suddenly began to laugh.

"Wait, you want to bring him back? A dead angel? Well have fun, it won't work. Anyway, if Jimmy's chilling down there –", she pointed at the floor ,"- then the only one who can bring him back is Crowley. And I certainly won't talk to him. I prefer not being killed. If that's all, can I go then?"

Before Dean or Sam could react Bobby scratched a piece of the devils trap away, and Meg was gone the same second.

"Why did you let her go?" Dean blurted out.

"She said everything she knows. It's just fair", Bobby said shrugging, stopping Dean from every discussion he might wanted to start.

They knew they'd lost. Begging Crowley to bring back Jimmy was like a self destroying mission. After all that happened, they wouldn't do it. Not that Cas wasn't worth the risk, they just knew it wasn't even worth trying. Not talking about the fact Crowley wouldn't help them anyway. Dean didn't even wait for them to say something, he just turned around and walked away, taking his oh so loved bottle with him.

There never had been much hope, but even the bit that existed was lost now.

* * *

><p>Their life in Sioux Falls had gotten sort of a rhythm. Bobby was searching for the Leviathans night and day, Sammy's visions got worse, so he hid in a room upstairs knowing that neither Dean nor Bobby could help him, and Dean was useless anyway.<p>

Who could've guessed that Cas' death would put him in such a deep depression? Though Sam guessed this wasn't only because of Cas but because of everyone they've lost and couldn't bring back. Ellen, Jo, Rufus… innocent and unnecessary deaths.

That all was changed when suddenly Meg appeared again on a Thursday, and in her arms the weak but alive vessel of the angel of Thursday. As she was shouting for help Bobby and Sam entered the kitchen, where Jimmy Novak lay on the floor, unconsciousness.

"What the-?"

"You can thank me later.", she interrupted Sam roughly. "Don't ask how or why, just accept it and take that chance. Do whatever you need to do, before he wakes up again. Because I don't think he'd be too pleased to let your feathery friend in again." And with that last word she disappeared again, leaving all the questions in the room.

But they knew there wasn't the time for questions now. There was only time for one thing: bringing back Castiel.

* * *

><p>He stood in the light, shining bright and white around him, every day, every night. There was no difference in fact. Always light, nothing else. Was this heaven or hell? He didn't know, but it seemed like nothing of both. And his heaven for sure wouldn't have looked like that.<p>

That suddenly changed, when the white light began to become darker. It got a shade of grey, and it seemed to drop from nowhere, running down the not existing walls until he stood in a black nothing. He didn't even see his own hands or something else of his angelic shape.

He felt a weird twitch, like some strings were pulling him up, and his body began to swirl like the black shades around him, before everything disappeared and then suddenly, one second to another, he felt solid floor beneath him and the well known smell of Whiskey.

* * *

><p>Yes, it had shocked her to hear that Castiel was dead. To her imagination it had always been a weird thought that angels could actually die. No one knew where they go, not even Crowley, and she doubted that her father, an angel himself, would've known it.<p>

It was one of the big secrets only god knew. And of course, she would never get the opportunity to ask him – as if she'd care anyway…

It was weird, the short moment she felt actually … sad when she'd heard that Castiel was dead. She has had a soft spot for him ever since he kissed her. Not feelings or something – after all she was demon, so she couldn't have feelings but … a soft spot. After he kissed her she felt so clean. For a short moment back then she felt good. Like a good person, not like one of the most evil creations.

Of course it was stupid, she felt like that because he was an angel. But still, after that kiss she wanted more, which she would never get. Of course she knew that. But honestly, which demon could say he kissed an angel? She was probably the only one.

That's why she'd done what she'd done. Without telling anyone of course, what would people think of her?

She didn't do it for any of the Wincesters though. It was only for herself, but what else could you expect from a demon. There was that stupid little part of her, that hoped he'd come to get his angel blade back. And another even more stupid little part, that hoped he'd take it back the way she took it from him.

His soft lips on hers, his hands on her waist, his perfect body pressed against hers. And she couldn't hide, that her body reacted on those thoughts. Of course not HER body, but the one she… borrowed. She'd worn it for so long now, that she got used to it. And she simply kept it because of the fact, that this was the vessel Castiel kissed. What a silly reason.

However, she had kept the sword close, hoping he'd come to take it. Which, of course, he couldn't do when he was dead and that was the only reason she'd helped to bring it back.

Running a hand through her hair she sat down on the bed in the motel room near Singer's scrap yard and rubbed her eyes. Not because she was tired – she never really was, she just slept because otherwise her days would've been too long – but because she was exhausted from living on this fucked up planet, where humans were praised instead of demons – who were far more better than humans.

She rested her face in her hands, and didn't realize the soft breeze in the room at first. But she could smell the sudden appearance. Quickly she looked up and a smile showed up on her face.

"You look surprisingly good."

"Of course. I'm an angel again."

"I can see that. All so shiny and new." , she smirked. "Where do angels go when they die?"

"I was in some sort of white room… Dean said something about Inception, but I do not understand what it's supposed to mean" he said frowning. "Anyway, you have something I want."

"Just come over here, I'm all yours."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. But it's what I meant."

"You still have my sword."

"But I won't give it away easily. It's useful."

"I could just kill you with one touch."

"But you won't."

She stood up and walked closer to Castiel, laying a hand on his chest.

"Jimmy's all restored I see." she said, feeling the heartbeat inside of the vessels body. She gently forced him to step back, until he stood with his back against the wall.

"I think you should thank me cloud-hopper."

"What was the price?"

"I belong to Crowley."

"You're a crossroad demon now?"

"I'm his puppy now. Doing everything he wants me to do, I'm completely under his command. I lost my freedom for you!"

"I didn't ask you to."

"And yet, you're happy."

She gazed up at him with a wild fire in her eyes. He knew what she wanted, and she could tell from the look in his eyes, that he was willing to give it to her. Just a second later she got her confirmation, as Castiel switched positions and she felt the wall in her back, and he was looking down at her intensively. She smirked up at him and pressed herself against his body. Next thing she knew was that he kissed her roughly, and it felt better than last time.

He was all angelic again, and yet this was nothing holy. She wrapped her legs around his waist and his hands were placed on her hips.

He ran one hand up her side and into her hair, pulling her head back so he could kiss down her neck. She couldn't help but laugh at the thought that the innocent little angel was going to get all dirty with a demon.

She stepped down on the floor again, forcing him to walk backwards and sit down on the bed. He sat down looking up at her, while she took of her shirt, and then began to take off her bra straps. The look in his eyes made her go crazy, and she sat down on his lap, one leg on each side of his and began to kiss his neck. Her hands were busy with getting him out of his trench coat and undoing the buttons of his shirt. Then she pressed him down on the bed and kneeled over him, leading her tongue down his chest. A slight moan came from the angel, which made her smirk even more.

Her hair tickled him while her hands were playing with his jeans. And she could tell he really liked it. Still smirking she opened his jeans and slipped it down on the floor, when Castiel suddenly sat up.

"This is a sin, _you_ are a sin."

"Believe me, it won't feel like a sin." She answered, though she could see the guilt in his eyes. Of course he would hesitate, after all he was an angel, one of the purest beings – though a voice like his should be forbidden. And of course his eyes, those baby – blue eyes in which she could see … lust behind the guilt.

That encouraged her even more and she set up again, looking into his eyes with a fierce look.

"You can regret it later Clarence. Right now this is what you call salvation."

She took his hands, leading them to her bra where they opened it though Castiel seemed to be unaware of what he was doing. But at the sight of her his gaze cleared and his hands went up her thighs.

"Show me what else the pizzaman taught you" she whispered, her voice rough.

He clumsily began to kiss down her chest and she digged her nails in his back. The thought of all the things she'd make him to do with her made her impatient and she ripped off her jeans before his hands even reached the button, pushing him back on the bed and running her hands down his stomach. She gently bit his neck and hearing him moan gave her the strange feeling of satisfaction. Though she'd thought that she was the one, who had control of this game, he clearly showed her how wrong she was when he slipped his hand in her pantie and her breath became heavier.

One hand still in her pantie he slowly slid it down while kissing her roughly which made her thinking how an angel can get this far from saintly.

She completely ripped off his clothes, unwilling to wait any longer and before she let him take over control she whispered "You're in heaven Clarence."

* * *

><p>After all she was sure she could call herself a good teacher. And this was so much better than anything before. Who would've thought that an angel can get this dirty. She pulled her hair out of her face and sat up looking at the motel room. It was a bloody mess, which made her grin. Of course they didn't stay in the motel bed. The sheets were ruined, the walls had dents, the kitchen table was broke and all in all, it looked more like a battlefield. Sex with an angel was… divine. Far better than anything else, and rougher than she'd imagined it. A human body would have some broken bones now, but hers healed immediately by touching Castiel.<p>

She looked over to him, how he was laying there, completely exhausted and asleep, looking as innocent as always. While she dressed again it came to her mind how beautiful it could be, if she were the type for cuddling. But she wasn't. And after all she had to wash that clean and pure feeling away. But she'd take the angels blade with her. Just for insurance – to give him a reason to come back.


End file.
